AND HE FUMBLES: OR HOW TO DEAL WITH FEAR AND "MISTAKES"
This morning a video blog from Bec Robbins regarding "killing fear" inspired me to share my weekend fumble with you.
I am certain that this has happen to you. You get an inspiring idea for your home or a project You mull it over and over again in your head. You research the heck out of it- maybe shopping online for that "perfect" certain something; maybe hunting down inspirational images to support your client pitch; maybe drawing everything up in 3-D on SketchUp; and then you go for it.
You are confident and assured. There is a pep in your step and you are thinking to yourself "This is going to be fantastic! I HAVE GOT THIS!"
You proceed with conviction and full of intent.
And then it happens...your fantastic idea, or pitch, or concept fizzles.
It crumbles.
That perfect paint color is terrible.
You hate that painting you just purchased.
That rug really IS too small - JUST LIKE YOU THOUGHT.
No one shows up for you and supports your ideas.
God, please.
Help.
You have failed- BIG TIME. Lame-o. Looser. No good. Has been. Life ruined. Career in the dumps. Home in shambles. Husband upset. Weekend lost. Money gone. Stuck with those terrible, ugly, Starburst lemon yellow walls.
The result: I'll never
do that again.
And by THAT I mean TRY. FOLLOW MY GUT. PUT MYSELF OUT THERE. BE WILLING TO FAIL.
This month, I have experienced my share of these moments. The kind that keep me and my brain circling and circling like a pup chasing its tail and making me long for the days when I could actually fall asleep before its morning again.
This weekend, I took action on one of those "great" ideas. (You know what is coming.) Turns out that building in storage under my refrigerator isn't as fabulous as I envisioned despite the fact that this idea was something I labored over for what seemed like an eternity.
It started that spiral of negative thoughts and fear based assumptions about - well, everything:
What was I thinking?! What a waste of time, energy and, not to mention, money. And on and on.
So why in the world am I fessing up and sharing this with you? Why would I display my "mistakes" for the world to see?
The answer:
The Agenda: Its all about honesty and
keeping things real.
These posts are about the universality of experience and through sharing my stories using design as my vehicle - hopefully-
inspiration.
We have all encountered this same experience and it keeps us from moving forward and trying again. We give up. We come to the "conclusion" that our goal really isn't important any longer and we resign our need to be fulfilled and fully express ourselves in life or in our surroundings.
Follow me here.
Bad paint choice = Why did I think I could have a beautiful room = It is not really important = I'll just "live" with it = Why bother?
That's exactly where I landed.
So how do we have the conviction to put another coat of color on those walls? To muster the energy to put that rug back into the trunk of our cars; endure the line at the store (one more time) and exchange it for another. And once more if need be?
The secret is these two words: So What.
The truth is that the every decision and choice we make right now is replace by the choice we make next. My idea to put storage under my fridge wasn't as great as I envisioned it might be. Now I know- and isn't that better than remaining to look at that space wondering "what if"?
I renovated the lobby of skilled nursing facility and everyone was against my hunch of installing Paprika colored wall covering. In this instance the payoff was worth the effort. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.
I would say that covering your walls in a paint color that makes you cringe is an opportunity to rule out what doesn't work or make you happy.
Mistakes and fumbles are here to help us as I have been reminded of lately. They help us realize that we are x, y, or z more than what we imagined. They help to keep us connected to expressing our authentic selves.
Better yet - I think that situations like my "brilliant" idea above keep us keeping on. In with the good/what works and out with what doesn't work.
Be bold. Try that paint. Purchase that rug. Move that sofa off your wall
and float it in your living room. Try what ever it is you want to try. You live. You learn. You Grow.
And you always have the option of saying
so what.
(Click the link above to watch the video Blog from Bec Robbins that help me say So What)